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EP 9 – Jealousy

Apologies in advance for some of the echo within this episode. Sadly technology was playing up and caused this. However it was such a good episode that rerecording it risked losing the spontaneity of conversation and so I have decided to publish it anyway.

Episode 9 of the KissCast and this week I welcome Malin James to the podcast to talk about jealousy after Malin wrote a post about the subject and the ensuing discussion we had together felt like it would make a great topic.

We start off by talking about our respective experiences of jealousy and what, in our minds is the difference between envy and jealousy. Malin talks about owning your jealousy and learning how to deal with it within your relationships and we talk about the skill of managing jealousy; such as identifying triggers, taking time to understand yourself and your partners, resisting the urge to respond with a knee jerk reaction and/or blame your partners.

Malin then talks about how her jealousy is often closely linked to her feeling vulnerable and how it is really important that you spend time figuring out exactly what it is that is making you feel jealous.

We talk about how jealousy is so often seen as a dark and negative emotion and how we fail to educate our children with a skill set to help them manage jealousy rather than letting the jealousy control and manipulate you.

Sharing your jealousy with your partners is our next topic and how to try to do this without making them feel like you are blaming them or judging them. We also talk about being the partner who is receiving the information and how to deal with that.

Most of all when it comes to this subject, be kind to yourself

Show Notes – Episode 9

3 thoughts on “EP 9 – Jealousy

  1. This was really interesting! I just listened to it as I pottered around my flat, tidying up after the weekend and writing this week’s lists. I didn’t think it would be that relevant to me because I never ever get jealous – the envy bit Malin talked about envy stuck a chord because I do sometimes think ‘ah, I’d have liked that experience with you’ if I’m talking to a lover about something they’ve done with someone else, but then I get that with friends too! But then as you discussed addressing and talking about jealousy I started to think back to the relationships I had in my late teens and my twenties, when I did still think I wanted a ‘normal’ relationship and one of the reasons I always give for no longer looking for that is that I don’t like myself in relationships and I become jealous and clingy and needy and in no way the same woman the man fell for. I like the life I’ve created for myself but now I’m all ‘oooh, wow, maybe I didn’t actually deal with that in as cool a way as I thought, maybe I’ve just stopped getting myself into (allowing myself to be in!) situations where those feeling flare up’! Interesting! I’m off for a run now…who knows where my mind will wander in the next three miles!!! Don’t think I’ll suddenly do a handbrake turn on where I’m at but very interesting to ponder!

    Thanks both, great listen!

    Xx

  2. Thanks, Exposing 40 – your comment is wonderful. I especially like the way you talked about your realization without judgement, but rather as something to ponder. I had to learn to do that when something shed light on some aspect of myself that I hadn’t considered to closely. My first impulse was always to get upset and beat myself up. The way you described addressing it – as a run and a ponder – is so much better. I’m really happy the discussion provided food for thought 🙂
    Malin xx

  3. Pingback: Little Monsters: On Jealousy - Malin James

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